The worst broke down ever. I hope I am heartless and numb. thousand million of emotions went through me and I could feel my head inside spinning like bursting at anytime. Actually I had been in a confusion state lately by thinking how should I fix it how should I fix my fucking own problem. I don believed it I don believed it and I cant face the facts. But in real that was the TRUTH and I got to fucking face it. I know it was the past. Everyone has its past. But I understand and did not blame or angry, just feeling upset. The reason why I am in such a state right now cos you mean a lot to me and unexplainable and indescribable how a lot you mean to me.

I know after this, you wouldn't want to tell me anything anymore that affected me so much.
I begin to hate myself even more, blame myself even more and hate everything around me. I am feeling so demoralised.
I miss u badly.